I didn’t get licked this time, so that’s a plus…

This week I was in charge of five boys during VBS at my church. I survived, but barely.

Some thoughts…

- So apparently energy necklaces are all the rage with 6-year-old boys. I thought the kids were just making something up when they said they were “energy necklaces” but apparently that’s exactly what they are. I would describe them as croakies in training. Instead of wasting all my energy telling them to quit swinging them around and please can you put that back on, I should have been requiring them to take them off. Really, parents – you think it’s a good idea to buy a necklace that is going to give your son more energy. Come on.

- Best response from a friend
Me: So when we learned a dance from Pakistan during recreation the boys were all dancing and into it, but then in the gym they wouldn’t dance to the music. I asked one of the boys why and he said, “because no one was watching us in there”
EW: Did you give them the whole “dance like nobody is watching” talk?
Me: Actually, yeah I did. It didn’t work.
MF: “I had to have the same conversation with E* this weekend”

- When going over Esther the boys did not want to talk about it because she’s a girl and they don’t like girls. In case you’re curious, that included me because I am not their Mom, Sister or Grandma. I don’t think they were serious and they really redeemed themselves later in the conversation when they asked how old I was and responded to me being 30 as “that’s not very old” Thanks boys.

- One morning as I was walking over to the building, I saw a mom who was having her kids run suicide sprints through the tunnel that connects the two church buildings. I wish it would have been the kids in my group. I finally just gave up and let them play tag in our room when they got there in the mornings until it was time to go to the gym. I figured if the other leaders in the room judged me, it was okay because you know what, I’m not a mom, I don’t know any better. Ha.

- I felt like at some points I didn’t get the boys to talk about the stories enough, but then another leader told me one of her girls grabbed the cards out of her hands today when she was reading the Bible story and said, “no more, we’ve done enough of those” This made me feel better.

*her husband

Yesterday At Church…

Videos shown at church usually bore me out of my mind, but yesterday they showed a video of the kids going through confirmation and I totally paid attention the entire time without closing my eyes once.

However, as riveting as it was with excerpts from their faith statements and interviews with the young-uns, there were only two things that kept me paying attention.

1. How many total “likes” were being said by the girls being interviewed.

It was pretty dang high. Unfortunately I have been there. I probably can’t count high enough to get to the number of times my mom called me on it and told me I would like never get a job if I didn’t like stop talking like an idiot. Yes, that’s how my parents threatened us growing up, by saying we’ll never get a job if… I guess it worked. I never got my tongue pierced and I only throw a “like” in there every once in a while these days.

2. How many boys they would show before they got to one without a Justin Bieber-esque haircut.

For the record it was none. Not a single boy they showed (not counting the teachers) did not have his hair cut like Justin Bieber. I’m was thinking back to when I was in middle school and I was going to say I would not have liked this, but then I thought about the boys I “went out” with in middle school and their hair cuts and then I decided I shouldn’t really say anything at all.

I don’t really know anyone named Sally

People keep asking me what I’m giving up for Lent, so I figured I just go ahead and put it out there.

I don’t give up anything for Lent. That’s right, I said it. Judge if you will.

The reason I don’t give anything up is because I am not disciplined enough when I crave but can’t have a soda(or whatever) to think, “Wow, I can’t believe Jesus died on the cross for me.” Instead it would probably go something like this, “Wow, stupid Lent, all I want is a freakin’ soda. Why did I do this?”

There you have it.

So instead of giving up something, I try to add something good or focus on something I’d like to change.

This year, I am trying to be more focused when I pray. Usually I end up praying while I’m laying in bed and it goes something like this, “Dear Lord, please be with Sally this week while she goes to her job interviews, man Sally and I really need to go to lunch, I wonder if Sweet Tomatoes will work with her. Maybe Wednesday. Shoot I have a meeting on Wednesday, man work is killing me right now. Oh wait, sorry God. As I was saying, Sally…”

So for Lent, I am going to be more diligent about praying before actually getting into bed and try to be more focused. I think this counts.

So far so good…

Ladies of the Evening

That, my friends, is the name I heard a little old lady call her small group today when I was at the gym. She had to be around 80. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little, and then it got better…

She said when they started it about 10 years ago they had to fight with the minister to be able to call it that. I can’t even imagine the conversation that took place. I wish I was there.

Some days you really just can’t begin to imagine the things you’ll learn when you turn your iPod off.

I wonder how many God points she’ll get for this…

Four years ago when I decided I was going to start going to church, I chose my church based on an internet search of denominations and differences between them and once I decided that I wanted a Presbyterian church, I got some recommendations. I did not chose it because it was cheap, close to home and not crowded. This is, however, how I chose my gym, which is why I go to a Presbyterian church, but go to a gym at an XYZ* church. Never thought much about it until today when I had this conversation.

An older woman on treadmill next to me started a conversation with, “I see you here quite a bit, but I never see you on Sunday. Do you go to church here?” (At this point I’m thinking this is a little weird – how long has she been watching me?) What I wanted to say was “No, actually I go to church somewhere else.” I only got out the “no, actually” before she started talking again.

And by talking again, I mean she spent 5 minutes telling me her testimony and then ended with “you really should accept Jesus in to your life”

Finally a pause, so I say, “I have, I just belong to another church” You would think the conversation would end here or move on to something different, but no, it just kept getting better…

At this point the woman, having not done enough research about me says, “I hope it’s an XYZ church – really it should be your only option.” Before I had a chance to say anything she launched into a list of all the things wrong with other denominations. I don’t remember them all, but her words about Presbyterians were something along the lines of being an unholy bunch (I must admit – this was a little amusing, but she gave no basis for the assumption so I don’t really know what she meant).

When I could finally get a word in edgewise, I couldn’t take it anymore so I said, “No, I don’t go to an XYZ church – personally I find them a little too pushy.” and then I left.

This probably wasn’t the best response, but in all fairness she did just call me unholy. I never told her where I went to church so she can’t hold it against us when she attacks the next poor un-XYZ soul at the gym. All I could think as I was leaving was that I’m glad this was not how I was approached 4 years ago at my church – I definitely wouldn’t have stayed.

What a day to forget my iPod…

*I have nothing against the denomination as a whole or the people that belong to it so I do not want to give them a bad name even though this lady was crazy.

Not today, Jesus

Last night in small group we were discussing the story about the Rich Young Ruler and how Jesus told him he had to give up all his possessions. Most of the study was talking about what it means to follow Jesus and what it means that Jesus loves you from the beginning and not because of actions you take. It also talked about the feeling that there is just one more thing you have to do and then you will have a perfectly spiritual life, and how you should become a nobody and just love Jesus.

Anyways, at the end of the study one of the suggestions was to go out for a day without any money and journal about your experience. I got to thinking, yeah, I could probably do that. Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow.

Then this morning I remembered I needed to get gas for my car, and I heard myself saying, “Well, not today Jesus, not today” (It’d be a really long walk to work) Then I thought, I bet He really hates hearing that.

No bullets and other random events of the weekend…

Thursday night I went to see my friend Nathan play at Vinyl. Nathan puts on an awesome show. It was a great time, minus the diva moment** from the guy that played before him, but at least there’s always something interesting happening at his shows.

Friday I had dinner with my friend KA. It was a nice quiet night, and she may not know it but she told me something I definitely needed to hear.

Saturday I headed to East Atlanta for Corndogorama – here’s a picture with me and my friend JM, who happened to win the 2008 corn dog eating contest. Unfortunately she did not win again this year, but it was still pretty awesome to see her try.

Sunday after church I headed to my friend’s pool for a going away party for another friend. She’s moving to Chicago so we had to have one last Sunday Funday before she left. We grilled out, we swam and we played flip cup by the side of the pool. I finally made it home around 8:45 – which was the exact same time Mentally::Rehearsed called to see if I was going to Brick Store. It didn’t take much to get me to cave. She accomplished it just by asking twice and telling me she was right by my house so she could pick me up. Living in Dunwoody, it is a rare day that someone is actually by my house and/or willing to pick me up. I showered and got ready and then we left my house about 30 minutes later. I’m glad I went – it was  good time and a nice end to the weekend.

Other events of the weekend – I watched a lot of the Disney channel; I got lost in my neighborhood for a few minutes when I went for a run; I did not finish Catch 22 for book club tonight; and I finally got the answer I was looking for, even though it wasn’t the one I wanted. That God, He just works in mysterious ways.

**The guy that played before Nathan got a little whinny that people in the back were talking so he got off the stage crossed the room and climbed up on the bar and stood up there until it got quiet enough for his liking and then he played his last song. I was actually enjoying his music up until this point, but that was just stupid and kind of annoying…

Not really the answer I was looking for, so…

I think I’m going to give God a redo. Let me explain…

Normally I am not one to pray over decisions. Most of the major decisions in my life have occured before I really started getting back into my faith so it was never really an issue. I decided to go to Kansas State for free rather than paying a butt load to TCU. I took my job because I needed one. Luckily both decisions were awesome in the end.

Most of my prayers over the last few years have been for strength to get through this or that, and prays for others. Well I decided I would give the whole “what is your plan for me, God” prayer a chance for one aspect of my life. I won’t go into detail about the decision or the prayer because it is kind of a small superficial decision and for this story they aren’t really important…

Today after work I took a nap because I am still a little worn out from the cold. It was only a 30 minute nap, but it was enough time to have one of the worst dreams ever. Again, the dream itself really isn’t important. What is important is that it was awful and I woke up angry, and worst of all, it could have been the answer to my prayer, but not the one I wanted.

I say “could have” because we really never know for sure until after the fact if at all, if that was really what God is trying to tell us. I also say “could have” because I’d rather prefer it not to be the answer. When I was praying to God to find out what He had in store for me, I was really kind of praying that His Will would line up with mine. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has fallen into this trap.

After I woke up I went for a walk and the whole time I was thinking that there was no way that this dream was God’s answer. Surely, He is not that mean, and that if He was really giving me an answer, he would break it to me more gently – maybe just write it down or something. I also started rationalizing that it was probably just all the cold medicine in my system that made me have this dream or maybe just some weird thought triggered the dream. I don’t really know, but I decided that I cannot accept that the dream was supposed to tell me God’s plan. It was just too awful.

So God, as you’re laughing at me right now, please understand that I have nothing against you – I just think that if you were trying to give me an answer, that you might have to try again and be less subtle and a little more kind. And, if it really was the cold medicine, then well, I’m still waiting on my answer