Because I am an awesome big sister, I am living sugar and gluten-free for the next three weeks. This includes soda in case anyone is curious. It’s been 2.5 days and I haven’t died yet, but I have noticed one big problem…
It’s making me stupid. Twice today in two random unrelated sentences I have made grammar/spelling mistakes that are embarrassingly bad.
I’m blaming it on the lack of sugar.
After some technical difficulties* yesterday, I changed the design of the blog. I’m thinking after 3 years it was time for a new look. I hope you enjoy it.
Yep folks that’s right – 3 years ago TODAY was my first post here at Eight Thirty Eyes, and I’ve been writing nonsense ever since. Although, to be fair, I’ve been writing nonsense longer than that, but you know what I mean.
My favorite comment in three years is on this post – Yep, I’m that self-centered.
I also went ahead and updated what I’ve been reading because it has been awhile…
*I didn’t know how to do something
So I guess not technically late because it wasn’t really scheduled, but it has been over a year since I originally wrote this. I wasn’t happy with it at first, I’ve changed it a few dozen times, and I still am not entirely sure if it’s done for real.
However, it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything I’ve written (well besides every post, but you know what I mean) and since that was part of the reason I originally started this blog two years ago*, here goes…
“Waiting”
What are you waiting for?
We’ve got to take the leap.
If there’s going to be more,
I need to know.
I can’t keep,
holding out for you,
waiting for the right time,
playing through the scenes,
making up my mind.
I know you feel the same,
I can see it in your eyes.
Hear it in the way you say my name,
read between the lines.
Our routine is getting old.
We need to find something new.
I know it might be bold to say it, but,
I think I love you.
So for now I will keep
holding out for you,
waiting for the right time,
playing through the scenes,
making up my mind.
*totally just realized I crossed the two year mark. I should have done something, but oh well, maybe for three 
I’m sitting here laughing at myself. Why, you ask – because I’m an idiot.
I live by myself. I have my own computer that rarely gets used by anyone else, but for some reason almost everything I’ve written I have saved with password protection. I really don’t know what I’m scared of, some thief stealing my computer and not liking something I wrote or making fun of my random collection of book outlines that never amount to anything. I don’t know, it’s probably a little crazy.
The thing that really got me though is that tonight I was thinking about someone I don’t want to think about, but it’s ok, because I am who I am, I have an entire page document I wrote full of reasons to tell me exactly why I don’t want to think about this person. I thought I needed to re-read it tonight, but it wasn’t that easy. Not only did I password protect this one, but I also saved it under some random file name, so it took me a while to find it.
Hence, I’m an idiot.
So… Patrick Swayze died today. My mom loved Patrick Swayze. If I remember correctly, I think she even had a poster of him up in the laundry room for a while. Anyways, that got me thinking about my mom and well, here’s a little late night glimpse into my mind.
Memory on Her Mind
She’s got a cup of coffee in her hand and a memory on her mind.
They said it would get easier, easier in time.
Such a minor truth for such major pain, and memories that just add up.
The tears she tries so hard to stop could fill that coffee cup.
Who was that girl, years ago, whose future seemed so right?
A family, a home, a place to go, fewer worries late at night.
To see the sorrow in her eyes, you have to look so deep.
She hides it well beneath a smile – that pain that she still keeps.
It’s a little late for the end of the year, but I realized I haven’t really been posting anything that I’ve written.Sooo… I am going to post a few poems I wrote this past year. I know, I know, don’t quit my day job – right (sis that “right” is especially for you) but what else is a blog for but to subject my loyal 8 readers to whatever I want
This one is from sometime in September I think…
You Were There
Even when I doubted and couldn’t believe,
that this is really what you had in store for me.
You were there.
I quietly cried and silently prayed,
asking you to wrap me tight in your arms.
You were there.
When no one else could hold me,
you made me feel safe.
You were there to see me through,
even in the moment I lost faith.
And this one is from last month (it’s pretty corny, but it’s ok because I know it)
I Skip a Beat
I think I’m going crazy.
I can’t put it into words,
but every path my mind takes,
leads me straight to you.
This that and the other,
it doesn’t seem to matter.
I stop, I pause, I skip a beat,
and my thoughts all turn to you.
I’m driving in my car,
maybe sitting at a light,
I stop and think how nice it’d be,
if you were at my right.
I think about my future,
and always find a place,
to fit you in to every day,
so I can see your face.
In my head I know this,
and everything we have is true,
but in reality I’m scared and nervous,
to speak two words to you.
I wish I could tell you how I feel,
and how great that it would be,
if all these dreams came true,
and you could fall for me.
Can you ever feel it?
Would you even know?
Is it in a smile,
or like a breeze blowing by?
I’m sure it’s a rush
felt like a shiver,
so quick there is barely
time to think,
“Wow this is it!”
It’s the deep color of sky, shortly after dusk,
when the sky is a soul awakening color of blue.
So clear and so calm that nothing else could possibly matter.
This is what I want to see
when I look into your eyes.
I will know when I see you,
that no one else will ever
know me like you will,
no one else will ever
make me feel like you will,
and no one else will ever
matter as much as you will.
Is it presumptuous to feel so much
without knowing you, without seeing you?
I don’t know for sure,
but I’ll wait.
